Another post about depression

Hi,

I have done something stupid for the past week, and I have no idea why. I stopped my meds. Which is a stupid, stupid thing to do. And by stopping them, I managed to give my demons a gap. A gap which allowed them to creep in and decrease the quality of my life, to make me into an irritable, unproductive bitchy unpleasant person.

One of the seriously sucky things about depression is that no matter how much you try to keep it in, keep it contained it’s effects spill over to other people in your life. The grumpiness and irritability and irrationality all increase and multiply.

Small chores that ordinarily take no effort begin to weigh you down and take a huge amount of effort, completely disproportional to the magnitude of the task. Your thoughts slow down, and every little decision begins to be second guessed, and you begin to believe the lies that the demons tell you.

This morning it was an effort to take my medication, it took me the better part of half an hour to get up and get some water to take one teeny tablet. But I won, I took the drugs. I know that this storm will pass.

The advantage of being a depression veteran, is that I know some tricks, and I know that even though this is a dark and bleak place, I won’t be here for ever.

Love and surviving,
Trisha

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2 Responses to Another post about depression

  1. Trisha Cornelius says:

    Trisha, you are very brave and courageous for continuing to speak about your battle with depression. Unfortunately there is still stigma about this illness but voices like yours help increase awareness and benefit us all. If you ask people, you seem to find every person has a family member, close friend, or even suffers themself. My 24 year old daughter has quite severe depression, and has since age 5, and I know how important, and how hard it is to find appropriate treatment and maintain progress. It’s a lifetime struggle, and a daily battle sometimes. Keep pushing through, Trisha. You are important!

    • Trisha says:

      There is still a stigma. But Sir Terry Pratchett once said,

      “Before you can kill the monster, you have to be prepared to say its name.

      Choosing to live in the open with depression has been a blessing, it has allowed me to have a soft place to fall, and for others who do not want to be public about their struggles to have someone to talk to, and that has been a huge honour.

      I’m sorry to hear about your daughter, but I am pleased that she is getting treatment.

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